


A Midsummer Night's Coma

by lennons_lemon_queen



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M, Multi, but that's basically Shakespeare anyway, enjoy this mess, this is borderline a crack fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:52:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennons_lemon_queen/pseuds/lennons_lemon_queen
Summary: The thick forests are alive with the gleam of fairies twinkling in the night like fallen stars. The night air is warm and the smell of love is in the air. Or so we think.Duke of Athens John Lennon is due to be engaged to Duchess Cynthia of the Amazons. But there's one problem, he's not in love with her. His eyes have snagged the heart of a noble knight who frequents the castle. So when Queen Julia asks Jane, Queen of the Fairies for a love spell--things get complicated.





	1. Caught Between a Dream and a Nightmare

_Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;_

_Four nights will quickly dream away the time;_

_And then the moon, like to a silver bow_

_New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night_

_Of our solemnities._

* * *

 

"Full of disappointment, come I! With complaint against my own child, John--who's heart hath been bewitched by the wicked ways of another on the eve of his betrothal to Lady Cynthia!" Mimi was pacing in John's room, nervously folding a pile of bathing towels and pausing occasionally to wring her hands. 

"Will ye calm down? And fer the last time, yer not me mum! Yer me nursemaid!" John complained over from the basin as he shaved his face. 

"Nursemaid or not, who's done all the job of raising ye when Mrs. Busy is running the kingdom?" Mimi huffed.

John sighed, slumping over the basin. "You." He mumbled, defeated. 

"That's right." She smiled, proud of herself a moment before returning to her previous state of distress and continued to pace.

"Yer gonna wear a track in the floor!" John rinsed his face and dried it with one of the towels Mimi folded.

"Is _that_ what yer worried about? You sorry cow!"

"You _know_ I can't do anything about this marriage! It's me mother's wishes.'"

"Have you tried _talking_ to her?"

John paused in thought. "Ye know, I haven't."

Mimi sighed and buried her face in her hands. John heard her whispering a Greek prayer under her breath to Hera for strength in the family and he groaned. "All right. I'll do it! Tonight, when she comes home. I'll talk to her." 

"Oh, thank you!" Mimi squished John in a tight hug. 

"Yer gonna crush me lungs!" John coughed.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

 

"Ho! Who goes there?" Sir James Paul called from the corridor. He was at attention with his hand on his sword sheath.

"You daft, it's me!" John whispered hastily.

"Oh! My sincerest apologies, sir."

"There's no need to call me sir, either, Paul." 

"Right, sir--er--I mean--"

"Just shut up."

"Shutting up, sir." 

John flicked Paul on the nose and he scrunched his face up. 

"How did it go with Mimi?" He asked, rubbing the new sore spot on his nose.

John rolled his eyes. "Awful. I'm gonna hafta talk to me mum tonight." 

"That's horrible, you know she's going to be absolutely furious!" 

"That's why it's awful, Paulie." John sat down on a slab of cement near the castle exit in the fading afternoon light, leaning his auburn head against a pillar. 

Paul looked around the corridor before sitting down next to him, gently resting his hand overtop John's in a ghost-like manner. John looked over at Paul and smiled and Paul felt a warm fluttering in his chest.

"Why does this have to be so hard, Paul? Why can't dukes just marry whomever they want?" John's voice was wistful and quiet. A longing whisper.

Paul swiped his tongue over his dry lips. "Well, isn't it _'for the benefit of the kingdom_ ' and all that wash?" 

John chuckled. "Yeah. All that wash." 

There was a comfortable silence between them and they simply enjoyed each other's company. Or the time that they had left together before this whole ordeal. After a while, John spoke.

"Where do you think she's gone? She always disappears without telling me where she's off to." 

Paul shrugged. "I'm not sure meself. All I do is bring her her stallion and riding cloak. 'N tell her to have a safe journey." 

"Does she tell ye anything that she doesn't tell me?"

"Not that I know of."

"But you're the knight! Surely you know more than I do about happenings within and outside the castle walls!"

Paul shook his head. John sighed in frustration. 

"God only knows where she is." He looked out at the lush forests surrounding the countryside. "I just hope she's okay...''

* * *

 

"Do you accept the vow, my Lady?" Queen Jane was shrouded in a white silken gown, her hair like fire billowing around her pale shoulders. Fairies gathered at her side and peeked out gingerly from the bushes. 

"Yes." Julia looked straight into the Fairy Queen's eyes. 

"Then I can help you." Jane sat on a toadstool, her bare feet resting on a cushion spun from a spider's web. 

"Oh, thank you! You don't know how long I've been seeking you. I've only heard legends..."

"There's no need for flattery, my dear." 

Julia shook her head and got up from her knees. "So, do you know who my son is in love with? He won't tell me. I think she's somewhere in the castle. A maid maybe?"

Queen Jane merely giggled. The sound was like little bells jingling merrily on a sleigh. She held her sides as she doubled over in laughter.

"My, what's so funny?" Julia was concerned.

"It's just...Your son is indeed in love, but nay with a fair maiden, be it a noble knight instead!" Jane covered her mouth as she giggled this time, and a little fairy walked over to hand her a cup of tea. She sipped it delicately. "Would you care for one, dear?" 

Julia suddenly dropped back to her knees, her expression that of pure shock. 

"Oh, surely you can't be so surprised! How often does your son go for _'rides in the country'_? Only to seek the attention of the young lad." Jane rose and placed a gentle hand on Julia's shoulder.

"I suppose I've never really...thought about it." 

Jane smiled warmly. "If you still want me to help you with this, I'm willing to give you a spell."

Julia bit her lip in thought. "Would you really?" 

"Yes. But it will not be ready until tomorrow evening." 

"Bu tomorrow evening is the wedding!" Julia started to panic.

"I will have it ready before the reception ever starts. Do trust me." Jane covered Julia's hand with her own in reassurance.

"Okay." 

"Now go, I have work to do."

"Right away." 

* * *

 

Julia hung her riding cloak on the back of the dining hall chair and called for Mimi. When Mimi's slippered footsteps echoed in the hallway, Julia turned.

"Ah, there you are, love." 

"What is it, your majesty?" 

"Where has Sir James gone?"

Mimi suddenly wore an expression of pure terror. But she cleared it away in seconds. "He's occupied." 

"Occupied? But with what other than guarding the castle and tending the horses?"

Mimi cleared her throat. "Let me go fetch him for you, my lady." 

"Thank you." 

Mimi hustled upstairs to John's room and rapped on the door. "John! Yer mum wants to see Paul right now!"

"Right now?!" John asked, audibly annoyed.

"Yes!"

Mimi heard John huff through the thick wooden door and it opened moments later. Paul stepped out, re-positioning his slightly crooked helmet. 

"Go! Quickly! To the Dining Hall!"

"Okay!" Paul went down the stairs as fast as he could and when he saw Julia he bowed respectfully. 

"Ah, there you are." 

"Yes ma'am." 

"I wanted to let you know that you're formally invited to the Wedding tomorrow night." 

Paul felt a multitude of emotions course through him, but he remained composed on the outside. It was his job after all. He bowed once more. "Thank you, your majesty. It's a great honor." 

Julia smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You have done our family a great service, Sir James." 

Paul looked up at her and smiled back. 

"Go and do some patrols out in the front court and then you may retire to your quarters." 

"Yes ma'am." 

Julia watched the young knight leave and she felt a pang of sympathy for him. Truthfully, she saw what John saw in him. He was very admirable, and though delicate rather than sturdy, he was quite charming. She almost felt guilty. _Almost._

She climbed the stairs to John's room and knocked. "John? Are you in there?" 

"Yes." 

Julia pulled the door open to see John lying on his bed on top of the sheets, staring at the stone ceiling. 

"How do you feel, dear?"

"Like shite." 

"Well then." 

John snorted. "'M sorry for my pleasant language. I've just been thinking a lot 'sall." 

"I can tell." Julia looked down at the floor. 

There was a silence between them before Julia broke it again.

"You know Cynthia really is a lovely lady. And she fancies you quite a bit." 

"We've talked twice, mother." 

"And both times she's been absolutely taken with you!" 

"But I'm not taken with her, mother." 

Julia looked away again and inhaled deeply. "The wedding is tomorrow night." 

"I know." 

Julia leaned over to place a kiss on John's head. "I love you very much. I hope you know that." 

John grumbled. "'Course I do." 

"Good. Now, get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow." 

"G'night mum." 

"G'night love." 

 

 

 

 


	2. Welcome! The Merry Band of Thespians!

"How now, my love! Why is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses there do fade so fast?" Paul asked John as he dressed in his room. 

The red felt riding coat was foreign on his shoulders and he looked at his reflection unsure in the mirror. 

"Why do you think?" His voice was low, defeated. 

Paul looked down at his boots. "Because you are due to wed Lady Cynthia." 

"My mother wants me to take over this kingdom, and I know nothing about running it! Had I a father to grow up with I might understand, but with her in control and gone, and Mimi..." 

"I know." Paul wrapped his arms around John from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder. "Hey,"

John raised his brows curiously. "What?"

"I think I know something that'll take your mind off this whole mess." 

John rolled his eyes. "Not now, Paul."

Paul's cheeks flushed red and he stepped back a foot. "No! Not _that_!" He huffed. "Just follow me." 

"But how am I going to get out without being seen?" 

Paul bit his lip and looked in John's wardrobe. He pulled out a set of grey garments and a belt. "Wear this and I'll escort you out of the castle." 

"Okay," John said. "but if I get caught it'll be yer head." 

* * *

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, mules and steeds! The merriment has only just now begun! For messers Brian and Ringo are preparing the scene." A tall young man stood atop a hay bushel and called out with his hands clasped around his mouth. 

John watched from a good ten feet away, still being extremely cautious even dressed as a peasant. 

"You're fine! Stop worrying!" Paul nudged his shoulder. "Now quick, come over here--they're about to start!" He pulled John by his wrist over to the other hay barrels and sat down. 

The two thespians deemed Brian and Ringo appeared before the crowd in fake knights armor made of corn husks. They drew wooden swords and began to start the scene.

"Hark! I sense a man of danger aproacheth!" Ringo, the smaller man yelled.

Brian stepped forward, towering over Ringo. "Be not I of danger, but despair! Oh, terrible despair!" He sank to his knees and pretended to sob. 

John tried not to snort and Paul elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Why sir, are you despaired?" Ringo sank to Brian's level and out a hand on his shoulder.

"My lady, she has left me for another man! And on the eve of our wedding day!"

John suddenly squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. 

"Come! We shall find her!" Ringo helped Brian up and led him to the side where the tall thespian had announced the play. But this time, he was in a lady's day dress and wore a wig weaved of twigs. 

"Is this she?" Ringo asked Brian.

"Aye." 

"George--Erm--Maiden! What possessed you to leave him so?" 

John covered his mouth with his hand to stifle his snort.

George batted his eyelashes. "I simply had to, sir! For I do not love him!" 

Paul leaned over to John. "This is frighteningly accurate. Maybe we should've gone and observed the town fool instead." 

"I think we are already." 

"If you do not love me, then who holds your heart in such care?" Brian asked George. 

George stepped aside and looked out over the audience composed of John, Paul, and a few stray roosters. There was one peasant in the back but he was asleep in his own filth.

John looked around him further but couldn't tell what George was looking at. 

"What're ye gawkin' at?" 

George broke his stare and scowled at John. "Certainly not at you, sir." He creaked in his wispy falsetto. 

Paul burst out laughing so hard that he fell off of the hay bale, disturbing one of the roosters so that it flapped up and perched itself in George's nest-like wig. 

"Jesus Christ!" He yelled, tossing the wig off.

"Who?" The peasant in the back asked suddenly. 

George huffed. "Nobody asked you!" 

John stood. "I've seen enough." 

Ringo stepped forward and grabbed John's arm. "Wait! Don't you want to know what happens?" 

"No." 

"Now even a little bit?" 

"Why? Does stickhead here kiss ye?" 

Ringo blushed deep red. "N-No." 

"Then good day, sir." John called for Paul as he walked away. 

Paul stalled a moment and he turned to the disheveled group of actors. "I thought it was rather decent, meself." 

"Thank you, kind sir." Ringo responded, bowing. 

"Paul!" John yelled in the distance. 

Paul started before running after him. 

George sat on a hay bale, defeated. Brian didn't even bother to take a seat, he just plopped down in the dirt, still in his costume. 

"Oh, c'mon you guys, it isn't that bad!" Ringo said.

"Yes it is! Our audience's been nothin' but cocks! And roosters too. We couldn't attract a decent audience even if we were Willy Shakespeare's rich arse!" George vented.

"He's got a point, you know." Brian said.

Ringo sighed and looked down. He perked up momentarily. "Wait--remember when that one lass came by? All blonde and braided up in flowers?" 

"Ye mean Brian's auntie?" 

Brian laughed. "'Twas, wasn't it?" 

Ringo stood proudly, adjusting his collar. "Well, quit if ye want. But I'm going to keep performing." 

"You're nothin' without us, son! Your only audience would be that old piss-stained man in the back o'er there!" George gestured.

The peasant sat up, clearly delerious from drink. "Oi, I 'ave a name he know!" 

George stood. "Yea? Then what is it?" 

The peasant thought hard. "...Jesus Christ." He mumbled at last before collapsing back onto the ground.

Ringo rolled his eyes. "He doesn't even know his own name." 

"Said 'is name's Jesus, though, didn't he?" Brian asked. 

George snorted. "Cos that's the only name he's heard since he's woken up." 

"Well I'm going to go and get something to eat. I'm starving and it's getting near sundown." Ringo said. 

"Get something to eat with what? We haven't made a scrap!" George asked. 

"I have me ways. Either follow, or starve." 

George rolled his eyes before shedding his costume off over his regular clothes. Brian stripped the corn husks off and followed in suit.

* * *

 

Julia sipped her wine delicately as she looked down at the expansive table at her son who was poking a plate of meat and peas with a knife. She cleared her throat. 

"So, do you like the clothes I got you?" 

"Yea. They're lovely. Just wish I was into the kingly look and all that." 

"What?" Julia inclined her head. John's voice was muffled and distant and it didn't carry in the huge empty dining hall. 

"I SAID THEY'RE LOVELY! AN' I WISH I WERE INTO THE WHOLE KINGLY LOOK! BUT I'M NOT." 

 Julia looked down st her plate and shifted her slice of turkey back and forth over the brass. 

"WHY DO YE HAVE ME SITTIN' ALL THE WAY IN THE HELL DOWN HERE ANYROAD? I CAN BARELY SEE YE, YER LIKE A BLEEDIN' SPECK TO ME." 

"THEN MOVE DOWN!" 

John stood, his wooden chair screeching loudly against the tile floor as he noisily clattered and gathered his plates before setting them down next to his mother. He took the seat to her right. 

"Actually," Julia started, a small smile slowly spreading over her face. "I've another present for you, dear." 

John furrowed his brows. "If it's more clothes or jewels, ye can give it to the peasants, cos I don't want it." 

"No, it's not clothes of jewels. Mimi!" Julia called.

Mimi walked in carrying a tray with four fruit-covered cakes. 

"Dessert?" John asked.

Julia laughed. "They're specially made, by a talented baker in town. Thought you'd like them." 

John observed them intrigued. "Well, this is...thoughtful. Not very much like you. Are you feeling well, mother?" John joked.

Julia laughed. "Right as rain, John. Just take one, dear boy." She grabbed the one on the far left and held it out to him and he took it.

"Ow!" 

John turned his head and tried to look down the corridor. "Paul?" 

Julia set the platter of cakes down and ran down to Paul's post to see him lying on the floor. 

John squinted, trying to see what was going on, but it was too far away for him to see. Suddenly, he felt the sensation of something on his thigh and when he looked down to see a hand peeking out from under the tablecloth he shrieked, stumbling back. 

Ringo tumbled forward as John went back and he was motioning for John to stop yelling. 

"Shhh! You don't want yer mum to have me head, do ye?" 

John rolled his eyes. "Lucky for you, me mum's a pescatarian." 

Ringo scrunched up his face. "She only eats fish and poultry?" 

John shook his head. "No! I mean she's a pacifist! Damn it." 

George popped his head out from under the table. "Ye can't be a pacifist and run a country! That's obrurd! How do ye defend yerself from other countries who aren't?" 

John jumped. "Do you have your whole troupe with you?!" He asked Ringo. 

George kneed a figure behind him and Brian's groan of pain was audible. "Yes." 

"What're you lot doing here?! In me mum's castle?!" 

"Well, when I saw you at the show, I recognized you immediately. When you left I figured there'd only be one place you'd go so fast, and we were hungry, so..." Ringo explained. 

John massaged his temples. "Whatever! Here! Take these." He shoved the tray of cakes in Ringo's arms and Ringo's face lit up. 

George and Brian started to stand when John heard Julia coming back. 

"Quick! Hide!" John shoved Ringo back under the table and sat back down. 

Julia looked puzzled. 

"Hello mother." 

"Paul was hit with the blunt end of his own sword." 

John suddenly stood. "Is he okay?" 

Julia motioned for John to calm. "Yes. Just a bruise on his head is all. The coward must've run off because I didn't see anyone." 

John nodded and sipped his wine.

Julia noticed the cakes were gone. "Did you eat them all already?" Her eyes were wide in awe.

John nodded and patted his stomach. "Yea. They were very good. Thanks. I should really be off to prepare y'know. All those vows to memorize." 

Julia raised a brow. "And the tray?" 

John shrugged. "The baker had such a nice one I thought it must've been baked too." 

"The baker was Lady Cynthia." 

"Really? She can cook? What a woman. I'm sold now." 

Julia rolled her eyes. "Go get dressed." 

"Yes ma'am." 

"Wait--look! The town fool has his trousers down in the chamber window!" 

Julie turned. "What?" 

John looked under the table to find that the three actors had vanished. He wasn't sure how, but he didn't question it. The sooner they were out of his hair the better. 

Julia huffed. "Stop playing games, John! Go get ready. I have to prepare everything." 

John nodded and headed out to his bedroom.

* * *

 

The sun was setting now. It tinted the sky a dark orange and the tops of the forest trees looked black in comparison. The frail priest had his scroll open to the vows and John stood at the altar, nervously adjusting his sleeves. He could feel Paul's gaze on him from the audience and he was trying not to perspire. How was he going to go through with this? 

Everyone rose and looked down the trail of flowers left by a young girl before the reception to see Lady Cynthia walking toward him. She was very beautiful. And white tall too. Her hair was blonde and pale like the sun and she had a lovely smile that crinkled the edges of her eyes. John felt a sudden pang of affection. And guilt. 

She soon stood next to him and put her soft hands in his own calloused ones. The priest smiled and began speaking in Ancient Greek about how they were all gathered together in peace to unite two souls under Zeus's watchful eye. John felt his pulse in his ears as the seconds passed. He couldn't stop thinking of Paul. Every second they spent together flashed before his eyes and he felt himself go into a cold sweat. 

"I can't do this." He told the priest. 

"What?" Cynthia asked him, her face contorted with confusion and hurt. 

"I'm sorry Lady Cynthia. I can't marry you." 

Cynthia shook her head and covered her mouth to stifle her sobs. A very tall woman who looked to be her mother tried to come over and comfort her but she stormed off into the forest. 

Cynthia's mother looked at Julia with a wicked scowl and John saw the blood drain from his mother's face. 

"Bloody shite." John whispered under his breath.

* * *

 

Cynthia ran as fast as her legs would take her. Pushing past tree branch after tree branch, the soft earth under her feet as her wedding slippers had fallen off half a mile ago. Her tears kept coming and they blurred her vision into a confused smear. She kept going until she ran into something. Hard. 

Cynthia fell back, her teary vision spinning as she struggled to keep conscious. She had ran into a tree. 

"Oh dear, miss! Are you alright?" A voice asked. 

Cynthia sat up and saw the form of a man coming into focus.

"I-I think so." 

It was Brian, and she grabbed his hand to pull herself up. 

"What're you doing in the middle of the woods, good sir?" 

Brian shrugged. "That's a good question, I don't know. I was with a couple of me mates and all of a sudden we were here." 

"Where are your friends?" 

Brian nodded towards a distant gleam of a campfire. "Over there." 

Cynthia walked towards the fire and Brian guided her. 

"I found a lady!" Brian yelled. 

"Brian, for the last time, a mule with a wig doesn't count!" Ringo yelled. 

Brian heard George laughing and he brought Cynthia over, motioning for her to sit on one of the logs set out. 

George and Ringo eyed her curiously. 

"Ye alright, miss?" George asked. 

Cynthia nodded. 

Brian pulled one of the cakes he took off of the tray John had given them and handed it to her. "Here. Have this." 

Cynthia thanked him, and nibbled the corner off. "Hey! I made these!" 

"You did?" Brian's eyes grew wide.

"Yer an excellent cook." Ringo commented. 

"Thank you." Cynthia smiled. 

There was rustling in a nearby bush. A figure darted out quickly like a stray beam of light and hid under the log Cynthia was sitting on. 

"W-What was that?" She asked.

"What?" Ringo looked around.

"That thing!" 

More of the firefly-like objects began to swarm and circle the group. Cynthia stood. A feminine, melodic voice echoed around them. 

"Over hill, over dale, over park, over pale, thorough wood thorough fire, I do wander everywhere, swifter than the moon's sphere; And I am the Queen of all Fairies." 

Cynthia trembled slightly and the three men looked absolutely horrified. There was a gleaming figure that emerged from the trees with flaming red hair and soft, pale shoulders. 

Cyntha's fear faded to amazement and she calmed. The men's eyes grew three times in size. 

"Follow me. I will show you to a place where you can rest." 

"Now I've seen everything." George murmured to Ringo as they followed the glowing Queen. 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
